I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
