let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
