You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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