I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
