i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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