you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
