whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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