my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just google imaged poop.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
