I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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