she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
