Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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