i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
