That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
