so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Holy sore nipples Batman
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
