found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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