Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
