I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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