I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
