She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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