I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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