when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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