I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
