everyone is single if you try hard enough
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
