Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
time to smoke my breakfast
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
