scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
