We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
