just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
