If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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