we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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