You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My penis needs a shock collar
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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