remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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