We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
