my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
