Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Too much gin, very little bucket
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
