Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
