My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
