At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
