I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
