Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
