i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
