Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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