My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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