i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
