Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
