And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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