It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
