dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
