Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize