Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
