susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She told me I should be a condom model.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
