I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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