For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
