I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize