It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize