dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm too high and old for this...
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