She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
