Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
