I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
