I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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