I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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