i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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