dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i permit you to call me
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
