i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
