So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
