he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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