I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
