garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
