It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize