I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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