I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Are we still banned from the library?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
