i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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